I went for a walk at Radnor Lake this morning. Activities – work, family, church, even this book – had become too much. I needed to clear my head and listen for God’s leading.
My question: “What am I to do?” It’s taken me longer than most to realize I have a limited amount of time and energy. I wanted to hear in the open air above the gentle drone of crickets a voice telling me where to focus my efforts. No more spinning wheels – just single-minded drive to pursue the path laid out for me. But that path is apparently more elusive than the one I trod today. It probably didn’t help that I only had an hour to spare and that I expected the Almighty to meet me on my terms rather than His.
Giving up, I sat down. As a butterfly landed on my arm, I realized I was asking the wrong question. Not “What am I to do?” but “Who am I to be?” Loving, strong, gentle, kind, resolved – all the things that are so difficult for me to be in the midst of the ordinary pull of activities and to-do lists. So maybe it’s not about one hour in one day I schedule hoping God will show up. Maybe I’m to pose the question to myself every minute, every action, every day. And in this process, perhaps I move towards the right destination, little by little – not by doing, but by being.
Beautifully written. I can relate to what you wrote, especially during this season of life with so many demands and avenues I want to explore. I need to remind myself that who I am in Christ, His truth should be my focus, not the goals I set to accomplish.