Disappointment

Last night was a tough one for my 12 year old.  His Tar Heels lost to Kansas, so they won’t be going to the Final Four.  During his own basketball game at a friend’s party, he scraped his knee pretty badly.  Then they ran out of pepperoni and cheese pizza before he made it through the line.  Finally, someone told him the ending to “The Hunger Games” before he had a chance to read it for himself.  Rough night.

How do you help a child understand that “this too shall pass”?  It’s hard enough for me as an adult to get past disappointment and truly believe that life will be good again.  But – at his age – there’s not enough history to draw on, not enough memories to instill in him a trust that things will get better.

So maybe I have to tell him my stories.  Stories of a miscarriage, the loss of my father, and the passing away of many of my husband’s family members.  Perhaps he needs to hear that my heart has been broken before or that there have been times when I couldn’t figure out my place in the world or even the right career path.  Perhaps we could take a walk through my wildflower garden to see the green that is emerging where cold, hard ground existed just weeks ago.  And I could remind him that God has always brought us through the darkest times into joy, just like these flowers will bloom again and again.

It’s one thing to believe God’s words “I will never leave you nor forsake you”.  It’s another thing to live them out, see them in action.  My son is almost there, and it’s our job as parents to help him recognize the presence of God as he rides the waves of disappointment.

We did what we could last night.  My husband cooked him a pizza.  I cleaned his wound and put ointment on it.  Our son finished reading his book.  When his head hit the pillow, there was a peace about him.

And this is what God does.  God nourishes us with his Word, cleans our hearts and applies the salve of grace to our wounded spirits.  Then we have the strength to finish what we started.  Eventually, even the most bitter of disappointments must give way to the blessed, nurturing, life-giving peace of our Creator.